P is for Personality

Several years ago, I took a personality assessment before joining a team. The quiz was to help determine how my leadership and personality traits meshed (or didn't) with the other team members. I took the quiz, printed out the results, and then Brian and I hit the road for the cabin. Sometimes on road trips, I read something aloud to entertain us - I'm our very own Audible.com, live and in person. We've read 52 McGs., a collection of New York Times obituaries (fascinating) and The Two Sides of Love, a book on understanding how your personality strengths can improve your relationships. (Are you a lion, beaver, retriever or otter?) We've amused ourselves reading through a local paper picked up in a rural general store.

But on that trip, I brought along the results of my personality test. We howled as we read the 22-page report which painted what could be interpreted as a harsh picture:

Elizabeth can be incisive, analytical and argumentative at times.
Elizabeth likes people, but can be seen occasionally as cold and blunt.
Elizabeth may display a lack of empathy for others who cannot achieve her standards.
She is not influenced by people who are overly enthusiastic. They rarely get her attention.
[In communicating with Elizabeth]:
     Keep at least three feet away from her
     Don't ramble on or waste her time
    Don't touch her when talking
[Elizabeth wants]:
     Limited socializing
     Time to perform up to her high standards
[Elizabeth needs]:
     Time to warm up to people
     An awareness of the parameters or rules in writing

As we reached the end of the assessment, Brian laughingly said, "Wow. From the sounds of it, I'm not sure I want you on my team." He was joking, of course. After all, he gave me a card on our wedding day that said, "I'll never vote you off my island."

I came across those results this week, and I laughed again as I read the description of myself. I'm not arguing with the results - they contain varying degrees of truth - but read verbatim, one page after another, the assessment seems to focus more on the negativity of my strengths instead of how those strengths can be used for good.

Perhaps not coincidentally, the topic of women's Bible study at church this week was "Made Precious by a Gentle and Quiet Spirit." As I said to the group last night, "That's not something anyone has ever accused me of having." But as I did the study and looked up the scriptures, I began to realize that a gentle and quiet spirit provides a sense of well-being, an anchor regardless of whether life's lovely breezes or threatening gusts are blowing. A gentle and quiet spirit is a source of strength and can be manifest in any personality type (including mine).

This morning, after seeing a friend's results on FB, I took a Buzzfeed quiz entitled, "What Biblical Heroine Are You?" Another Buzzfeed quiz I took told me I should live in Georgia, which I found fairly accurate, so I thought it would be fun to see who in the Bible it compared me to. I was skeptical when I saw the first question was to choose a Disney movie. What does that have to do with biblical heroines? Anyway, my result was Abigail:

Gorgeous, driven, and professional, you're the person people call when there's a problem that needs sorting out or an important decision that needs deciding. You're smart - scary smart - and are easily annoyed by people who aren't on your level, although you never let it show. A gifted negotiator, quick thinker and loyal friend, you're the kind of person people brag about knowing. Although you could take over the world if you set your mind to it, you prefer to be the invaluable person in the background responsible for making everything run smoothly. You're basically Olivia Pope, but with healthy family and romantic relationships. Congrats.

 

Like the leadership personality test, these results made me chuckle. Again, some truth, some exaggeration, and I'm unsure about how Abigail, Olivia Pope and I all line up, seeing as I've refrained from ever viewing a single episode of Olivia in action. I needed a refresher on the story of Abigail (I Samuel 25). Through some strategic, quick thinking, she rallied her household troops (I don't have any of those) and prevented David from killing her husband who was a fool (I don't have one of those either, thankfully, and the Bible used "fool," not me, lest you think my blunt personality is speaking). As much as I like to be prepared, Abigail sets a pretty high bar for being prepared for any situation. That girl had some serious resources:

 

Abigail wasted no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five bushels of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs and loaded them on donkeys. (I Sam. 25:18)

It's been an interesting few days of introspection, seasoned with amusement. How does my personality contribute or detract from family relationships, friendships, team work, my business, my volunteering? What traits can I harness for good and what do I need to tone down or flat out change? How are my personality traits viewed positively or negatively?

Clearly, I'm a work in progress, but want to use my strengths to build up and not tear down (unless a wall really needs to be torn down. Then I'm on it.).

You can call me incisive, argumentative or a rule follower. You can even call me Abigail. Just don't call me Olivia Pope. That would be scandalous.